Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
