I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
