She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I booty called her while she was in labor.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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