hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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