im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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