i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
he shaved USA in his pubs
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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