Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
