i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
