I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
