on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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