your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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