How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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