Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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