Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
