Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
