Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
