Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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