It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
