took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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