just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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