My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Randomize
