Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
