Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
