yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
