I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
the liver wants what the liver wants
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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