i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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