i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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