Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
