I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
