i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
