to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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