woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
