It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
where does the pee come out of this thing
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
