I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize