Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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