I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
