I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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