You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Your cock deserves a montage
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
