Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
