My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
