im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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