is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
