I'd wear matching sweaters with you
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
