Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize