First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
