ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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