oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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