Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
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