Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
