I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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