Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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